celibacy is one of the most important aspect of spiritual sadhana. almost all religious guru have given emphasis on practicing celibacy or brahmacharya. it is one of the five yamas (right living) in yoga.
when you practice celibacy then your energy accumulates and is channelized for spiritual progress. your energy starts rising upwards towards the higher chakras. your mind becomes more subtle and perceptive.
on the other hand, when you move into sex then your energy starts moving downwards. you become more identified with the body and thus your energy becomes more gross in nature. it also leads to unconsciousness and unawareness.
thus all the hard work which you are doing in raising your consciousness or in raising energy to your heart chakra or to crown chakra gets wasted. its like saving money through out the month and then spend it in 1 hour. thats why it always leads to regret and loss of energy (except when the love making process is not sexual but loving or is done meditatively/consciously).
according to great sage patanjali, celibacy leads to gain of virya (virility or strength). it also makes your mind more clear, subtle and focused. you have more mastery over yourself.
the loss of energy not only happens during the sexual intercourse but it can also happen if you are obsessed with the sexual thoughts. so the celibacy should not be at the body level but it should be practiced at thought level also. you should think about sex and you should not desire for sex.
but celibacy cannot be forced. if you try to force celibacy on yourself then it can land you into difficult situation. because you cannot stop your mind from thinking about anything.
only thing which is there in your hand is to be creative about your energies. take your energies towards creativity or towards meditation or love or devotion. never suppress your energies. rather try to transform them. remember, energy can be converted from one form to another. the same energy which is going into sex can be transformed into creative expression or into being loving towards everyone or it can go into meditation and so on. in short, change the direction of your energy into doing something higher or constructive. have a higher perspective in mind while spending your time and energy.
how to deal with sexuality via meditation – if you know meditation and sexual thoughts are troubling you. then don’t worry about it. let them come and go. you just be a watcher of the thoughts and also of the gap between two thoughts. its also not necessary that you have to focus on witnessing thoughts only. don’t be focused and instead just be aware of everything or wherever your attention goes, just be aware. e.g. sometimes your attention might go towards the sound coming from nearby room, observe the sound. sometimes your attention might be attracted by your body, pay attention to it. when your attention is attracted back by sexual thoughts then simply watch them.
be watchful of everything. don’t block any experience. also don’t feel guilty that how come sexual thoughts are coming to you. instead of being guilty, witness the emotion of guilt. let any sexual feeling come and go. its not your business to stop them. your responsibility is to be a watcher. this way after some time the sexual thoughts will subside or disappear on its own. but you would gain valuable experience in witnessing the sexual energy.