one of the most difficult thing in life is to be alone. we all look for companion in life. no one wants to be left alone or ignored in this world. friends make us feel that we are accepted and needed. we need friends and family to enjoy small things of life and to face the difficult moment of life.
what happens when you are alone – you have to face yourself as you are. there is no friend or family to console you or to accept you with all your weaknesses. when you are alone then you have to face your weaknesses, imperfections, your past mistakes and your guilt feelings. all this makes you uncomfortable and thats why no one wants to be left alone.
we always tend to fill up our life with something or other. thats why there is so much charm of social media and cinema. all these are an escape from yourself. deep inside there is pain and bitterness in all of us. we all have made mistakes in life. we all have been stopped from doing what we wanted to do in life. there are guilt feelings and there are regrets stored inside us. when you are alone then all these suppressed emotions starts surfacing in your conscious mind. now, who wants to relieve and face these old memories and desires which we have suppressed inside us.
so most people don’t want to sit idle and face themselves. cinema and social media are a good escape from aloneness. in the name of getting entertained by cinema we are avoiding ourselves. if you want to be emotionally healthy then one has to face oneself and heal the past. its not going to be easy but you will learn many things about yourself. it will give you new insights, wisdom, self-acceptance and a well being. you will become a better person emotionally and spiritually. your attitude towards life and people become more deeper and profound.
so how to be alone and grow inwardly:
1. when you are alone, be alone. no need to distract yourself or pass your time. what i mean is that don’t pick up any newspaper or book. because then again the ‘other’ has come. being alone means you are just with yourself. remember, if you are watching a movie alone then again you are with the world. being alone means ‘you and your interiority‘ and no outside involvement in any sense.
2. pay attention to signals – your body will send some sensation as you might be ignoring your body for some time. your heart will try to communicate some desire. your inner voice might get a chance to speak. listen what they communicate with you. be open to the voices of your body, mind and soul.
3. don’t suppress any feeling – no matter how good, bad or ugly is the feeling. let it come to the surface. it does not mean that you have to fulfill the desire or do anything about the emotion. let it come and stay for some time and then it will disappear on its own. you don’t need to react or do anything about it. just watch and observe your feeling as you are watching a movie. don’t get identify with the feeling. watch as if this emotion belongs to someone else. its not easy but with time and practice you can learn any skill.
4. acceptance – this is the most important step. accept yourself as you are. no need to condemn yourself for your weaknesses or past decisions. we all have faults and we all make wrong choices. let go and forgive people if they have harmed you in past. all this will release the energy and emotions which are stuck within you. by doing so, you will feel relaxed, content and a new sense of well being will come within you.
5. don’t expect anything out of this exercise – you are sitting alone because you want to spend time with yourself. it is just to face your inner reality. it will help you to know your real needs and expectations. your body has some needs. your heart has some desires and your soul has some purpose to fulfill in this life. by spending some time alone everyday you will realize your purpose of life. you will know more about yourself and who you are in reality. you will start leaving a more meaningful life.
although you will gain much from it but don’t expect anything. because expectation will interfere with the exercise.