anger is not always bad. sometimes it is good and is needed. when anger is the need of the hour then it is alright to express it. there is no need to suppress the anger if it is the demand of the situation and helps someone or yourself.
but if your anger is destructive then care must be taken to transform the energy which is going in anger. lets discuss few ways how we can do this.
how to deal with your anger:
1. think in a long term – when you are getting angry over some issue. then ask yourself this question “will this issue be really important to me after ten years”. if the answer is No, then why spoil your present moment by getting angry over some trivial matter. at times we get too much identified with the issue that we start giving it too much importance than what it deserves. so think from a long term perspective about the issue. think how you will judge this moment ten years down the line.
2. don’t punish yourself for others mistake – when you get angry then who suffers the most, its you. by getting angry you spoil your mind, your tongue and your peace of mind. your whole day can also go waste. if the other person is at fault then why should you suffer for it. so set some price for a thing and don’t pay more than it. e.g. you are waiting for your friend in a cafe but he is very late. so instead of waiting for him for one hour and then getting angry at him for coming late does not make sense. instead decide that i am going to wait 15-20 minutes for him, if he does not come then i will leave the cafe.
3. take a deep breath – breathing is directly connected with our emotions. if you change your breathing then your emotions will also change. so change your breathing pattern. the best thing to do is to exhale deeply. while exhaling visualize that all your anger is going out. it will help you tremendously. another way is to remember the incident which is making you angry and then exhale deeply. your anger will go away with exhalation. try it for few minutes, it works.
4. move on with life – don’t keep on thinking about the incident which is making you angry. instead change your energy and mood by doing something else. don’t sit idle and keep on thinking about the issue. do something constructive like cooking, gardening, listening to music, yoga, pranayam, meditation or going out for a walk in the garden. as you change your energy your mood will change. by doing so, your mind will not give energy to the past incident and it will be easier for your to move on with life.
another trick is to distract yourself from the issue. like you can start counting from 1 to 100 or start reading a good book or watching a movie. it also help to decide firmly that i will respond only when i am at peace and not angry. no need to say or do anything as long as you are angry. wait till the time when you can think calmly and clearly over the issue.
5. expressing anger without harming anyone – when you are really angry and nothing works then just beat your pillow for 5 minutes. or do some exercise which needs hard work. e.g. playing sports like cricket, football, badminton where you can hit hard or activities like cutting woods or removing the weeds from the garden or any other hard work. basically your anger energy needs an expression. so you have to provide an outlet for it. if you don’t express your anger on non-living things then you might end up getting angry on living beings or on your loved ones. another option is to do some social work like cleaning your society or planting trees. this way you are doing some constructive work.
6. choose forgiveness over anger – if you have the option then always choose ‘let go’, acceptance and forgiveness over anger. because each time you choose to get angry, you create a pattern of anger in your aura. so next time it will be more easier for you to get angry. don’t make anger a habit. instead make compassion, let go, acceptance and forgiveness your habit. remember you cannot change the other person nor can you change the world. only person you can change is yourself. so try to have mastery over your emotions. because stupid things will keep on happening in the life. world is like this only.
7. constructive activities – inculcate a hobby in your life. be creative with your acts. meditate often, laugh often and share often. all this will create a joyful and positive aura around you and it will be difficult for you to become angry over trivial matters. don’t take life too seriously. loosen up. relax and let go of people mistakes. remember, not everyone is intelligent, smart or perfectionist like you. everybody has some faults. so learn to accept people as they are and life will be more joyful and easy going ride.
if you have any other anger management tip then do share in the comment section.